I was feeling a definite pull toward being a stay-at-home mom, taking care of my family and home full time. But that was not possible for me with all of the financial demands of that American dream.
Those days were a blur and ended in divorce, displaced children and a longing for a completely different kind of life.
Rick and I were married in 2001 and although I worked for a period of time after we got married, he gave me the honor and privilege of quitting work to take care of our family full time. Then we added two more children .. and a new home .. and some dogs. And then this year we decided to bring a couple of the kids home to homeschool.
I feel in my element for the first time in my life! I love it! I am exhausted, yes! But I am fulfilled. I find myself enjoying things that I never imagined I would, like gardening. I have a dream of us living in an old farmhouse (and remodeling it) and having an even simpler life than we have now.
I have got to where I am completely content at home and don't have much desire to leave it, hardly ever! I know of so many other women who need "girl time" or need "to get out of the house". And I wonder if I am the only one in the world who doesn't need or want that.
I want to learn to sew and to do more gardening and to take care of family even more than I already do now.
I want to be the kind of wife that my husband is excited to come home to in the afternoon. I want to have the kind of home that is a safe haven for my family.
I have told Rick recently how much I wish we lived in the 50's. Honestly, I don't give two hoots about equality of women or anything of the sort. It's great that women have rights and if they want them, they should have them. But I find that it's a relief to let Rick be the leader of our home. Unfortunately I try to take back that role from him all too often. And I find that at the times I am most unhappy are the times that I am trying to be the ruler of all.
Here is an article (that has been stated to possibly be a spoof, or actually a page out of an older home economics books instead of from an article from a 1950's Good Housekeeping magazine) that sets out what a wife should do to be A Good Wife to her husband. Go here to read it. I thought I'd stir up some controversy ... what do you think?
I'll get the conversation flowing .. I think if wives took on this role, we'd have more happy marriages and families. There, I said it.
I'm with ya all the way!!! Well except for the homeschooling... :) You know I totally get what your saying, farm house and all :)
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ReplyDeleteMe too! We were watching Leave it to Beaver today and I would have loved to live back then. That is where I would have fit in better. Sometimes in todays world I feel completely like a fish out of water. Great post!!!!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say that I deleted the TWFG-OK comment only because it's the same comment from Berry that was already posted. It wasn't because it was a negative comment. Just wanted to clear that up in case anybody doesn't agree with this post and wants to say it.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you! Have you read A Woman After God's Own Heart? I love that book. It's all about what you just wrote. Making your house a home and a place where your husband and kids want to be.
ReplyDeleteOh me too. I always said I should have been Donna Ried. My kids are grown now, and I watch the grands a few days a week, but love staying home, and taking care of harth and home. Feels like there isn't too many of us around like that anymore.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! The 50's were such a simpler time. I am sick to death of hearing about smart phones, facebook, twitter, seeing people on these while with their kids....I don't text, don't have a smart phone, etc...and sometimes feel like a dinosaur for it. It'a all just too much now, in my opinion. Excellent post, and I'm glad you put it out there!
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail on the head in wishing for simpler times....I am in the "dinosaur" category with Steph....no texting...no smart phone.
ReplyDeleteWhen the time no longer warrants that I work, it will be a joy to have the fire going and a pan of cookies coming out of the oven for my hubby. I have to be honest...not sure I'd EVER hurry to take his shoes off (unless he can't bend over)!
Get your apron out and go for it girl!
Nicole I think you would enjoy reading "Created to Be His Help-meet" (No type-o it's really meet) by Debi Pearl. Great book. There were a few thinks that got my dander up but when I took time to think about them I usually came around. One point I couldn't concede too (I think she has no real biblical bases for her thought) but still a wonderful picture of things God wants from us.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to take the kids off to school and go find the other book mentioned above.
Great post!
You are SO right!! I was also given the "privilege" to stay home after Sophie was born. It took me about a year to deprogram myself. I was a little bored at first and didn't really, truly appreciate what the opportunity that I had. Now...oh my...I never, ever thought I would be so "content" with being at home. What I have now FAR outweighs the little sacrifices that I have made to make it happen.
ReplyDeleteI have a 3 yr goal of working until we are debt free, then I would love to stay home & especially home school my kids. My older boys will be in 11th & 12th grades by then, so I will probably keep them in public schools. My girls, will be in 5th & 6th grades, by then & that will feel so great to be able to home school them. Especially with one going into middle school.
ReplyDeleteI am always saying, I wish I could have been born in the 50's or even better that our time now would go back to the 50's era. I am seeing a lot more women leaving the work force & going back to their homes, so maybe just maybe, we will get there one day. Great post and you go girl.