Nicole's Daybook

Outside my window... It's a pretty, sunny December day.

I am thinking... about that game "Telephone" we played as kids where you whisper something in someone's ear and it goes around the circle and the last person tells what they think they heard. Remember that game? The last person is almost always telling a version of the sentence that is way off from what was started. That's how I feel about a certain thing in my life. A version of the story that is believed at the end of the circle is not the true version. But I know the true version because I was where it originated.

I am thankful ... for hope.

I am wearing... my pj's and robe while I sit in bed drinking coffee and doing my Daybook. Man, every day should be like this!

I am planning...  oh, Hallelujah, NO PLANNING! We have just wrapped up the last of our end-of-the-year craziness! In four months we have had all four kids' birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and all its celebrations, and a big move. Now, you can hear the crickets chirp. Ahhhhhhhh ........
 

I am creating... a completed list of organization, and I am ahead of schedule. I am so glad I decided to start the extreme de-cluttering extravaganza before Christmas this year!

I am going... to spend some time with friends this week, which is a rarity for me! Today Brynne and I are going on a play date with some great friends. Tonight Rick and I are going out to meet up with a bunch of his friends from high school. And tomorrow I am having coffee with an old friend, who I miss so much, and hope to begin rebuilding our friendship.

I am reading...  Enchanted April by Elizabeth von Arnim (notice no school read-a-longs?)

I am hoping... for a happy 2012!

From the learning rooms... We are on break until January 4th. I, however, am learning how to take my life back, and it feels good.

Noticing that ... I have been an absent wife.

From the kitchen... It's going to be mostly teenage boy style foods and pantry purging over the next week. Rick is going to be gone for about 5 days and I am gaining two teenage boys. The microwave will be on overdrive.

Around the house... all of the Christmas decorations are down and it is back to normal.

One of my favorite things... is hearing and seeing happiness in my kids.

A few plans for the rest of the week... More organizing, more playing, more reading, more relaxing.

From my picture journal.

Eli and Brynne modeling the latest in Christmas Break dresswear. 

Lots of women Daybook. See what they have to say at The Simple Woman's Daybook.

S.I.M.P.L.E.

A simple Christmas.

A simple Christmas break.

A simple ringing of the New Year to come.

No muss. No fuss. And I feel so at peace!!

The hustle and bustle of the holidays can make even the strongest woman fall to her knees. There is all of the preparation, expectation, and then usually desperation when things don't go as planned. If there's no real plan, there's no reason to get upset. As long as your little family is happy, isn't that all that matters? The rush and hush makes everybody miserable in the long run.

And mom spends so much of her time and energy trying to make the holiday special for her family. But where is mom in it all? Mom should be happy, too. Because, if Mom is happy then everyone else is happy. And we all know that is right and true.

Even last year when I SET OUT for us to have a simple old-fashioned Christmas, it was two-weeks of work to make it happen. Not so simple in the long run.

Have you stopped recently to ask your family what they really want for Christmas (or for their birthdays, New Year's celebration, etc.)?? We all know the scenario ... WE have in our minds what WE think Christmas (or insert other holiday here) should LOOK like. We stress all day (or sometimes for several days) to make it HAPPEN, while in the meantime everybody is miserable because mom is freaking because nobody is cooperating and things aren't working out to the PERFECTION in her mind.

Not this year. I've looked at my family. I've paid attention to their true wants and desires. And I have done my best to deliver the Christmas THEY want instead. (And guess what?? It was a WHOLE LOT LESS WORK than I would have done under my vision!) Really, my family just wants to be home, enjoying each other and their new stuff.

On Christmas Eve I asked Rick if we should get out our Christmas china or our Mexican Fiesta-ware (since we were having Mexican with his sister's family) for our dinner. He said, "Neither." He wanted to keep it simple. Who were we trying to impress anyway? So, we just used our regular dinner plates. That kept us from having to locate the special dinnerware, wash it, use it, wash it again, and then repack it to put it away. No tablescape. No hoopla. Just dinner. And good dinner, too.

On Christmas Day? You read about that yesterday. Nothing but jammies, playing, and eating whatever we felt like. Nobody wanted to get up at o'dark:thirty to open presents when we could do it at 9 a.m. Nobody wanted the big fancy dinner. Nobody wanted a Christmas production. They just wanted to have fun and relax. Delivered. And mom was SO MUCH LESS STRESSED!! So, everybody was less stressed. I even let Dawson spend the night at his best friend's house ... GADS!!! ... on Christmas!  He was happy. So I was happy.

No, we didn't travel to see family. There are sacrifices that have to be made to carry out the simple plan sometimes. Ricks family, with the exception of his sister, all live in Reno, Nevada, so seeing them for a holiday is not possible unless we want to travel a loooooong way on Christmas. And we don't. And now my family has a house in Pensacola, Florida, where they are for Christmas. To see them we would have had to travel a loooooong way in the other direction, and we would have been on the road at about 4 a.m. this morning. So, we decided not to go. There were several times yesterday that I was thankful I wasn't spending my Christmas Day getting us prepared for a week-long trip. Talk about miserable mommy and miserable family. I do hate it that we don't have BIG FAMILY traditional get-togethers anymore. But to have the SIMPLE holidays, those are sacrifices we have to make. I am a homebody, true, but I have learned that so are my kids.

I have spent way too many holidays, vacations, even ordinary days, trying to get my family to live up to an expectation I have set in my mind. I think I'm starting to really GET IT now. I have read my family and realized that it's not about me and what I want. Yeah, I still got EVERYTHING I wanted! But I didn't have to work to get it. I got the love of my family. I got the tears from the kids when they opened gifts that they had wanted really, really, bad. I got the loving phone calls. I got comfy clothes, blankets and good books. I got a good day and a happy family.

Simple joy for all.

Feliz Navidad

Each year for Christmas Eve, Rick's sister and her family come over for dinner and fun. We have had this tradition for the 10 years we have lived in Oklahoma. Julie brings her famous enchiladas and I make tacos and guacamole. She usually makes a tasty dessert. We eat lots of Mexican food, have lots of laughs, and then sit down to watch Christmas Vacation. The kids open gifts and we call it an early night. (Rick and I always have to stay up after they leave and do all of our gift wrapping for the kids that takes us a couple of hours.)

We always look forward to spending time with Milton, Julie, Tommy and Angela.

Tech the Halls ~ Christmas 2011

Well, it's 7:00 p.m. and Brynne and I are laying in my bed with the doggies.

Rick is sacked out on the couch. Dawson just ran out to go to his best friend's house who lives two streets away. Eli is in his room. We are tired from a day of doing absolutely nothing. Brynne is currently playing with her new Nintendo 3DS, making Miis of all her family members. Eli is watching America's Funniest Home Videos on Netflix on his new Nintendo 3DS. My new iPad is re-charging from being played with so much. Dawson's Xbox 360 is smoking from all it's usage! We just might have to get a bigger modem to support all of the new Christmas technology.

Yes, our Christmas was a techy one. We kind of went big this year. I read about lots of families who were scaling way back, some who were doing the three gifts to symbolize the number of gifts Jesus received from the wisemen. We did the opposite, really, and I am not ashamed of that. For many, many, many years we have done Christmas the lean way. We don't buy a lot for the kids throughout the year. They have to wait until their birthdays, which are all right before Christmas, to get bigger ticket items. Our kids have been exceptionally good this year. They have done excellent in school. They have grown in leaps and bounds in treating each other with kindness. We wanted them to have a great Christmas. Really, they each only asked for two or three things. But I knew many things they wanted that they didn't ask for. They aren't greedy kids. They deserved to be rewarded with fun.

They slept in until 9:00 this morning. We were planning to go to church at 10:00, but didn't make it. Instead, we stayed in our pajamas all day! I made cinnamon rolls and biscuits and gravy and we opened gifts. Here are pics of the haul ...

A saucer gaming chair (that he's sitting in, and a futon couch not in the pic), Totes slippers, a sterling silver guitar pick necklace, a box of clothes from American Eagle, Hollister, and Pac Sun, an Xbox 360 one-year Live contract, a light saber, a Hurley shirt from grandma, and two video game posters from Eli and Brynne. (From Kyndal he got some guitar pics and a Capo). In his stocking was a Hurley leather wallet, Hurley socks, underwear, and candy.

A Nintendo 3DS, light saber, Mad Season 1 DVD, Mario 3DLand game for DS, Fossil Fighters DS game from Dawson, Mario and Sonic at the 2012 London Olympic Games game for Wii, a new sled, a board game and gun from Brynne, Bop It! XT from grandma, new pjs from Kyndal, and in his stocking was new slippers, a Finn McMissile car, a Sonic Boom character for his Skylanders game, underwear, a stocking cap, and candy.

A Nintendo 3DS, Kirby Mass Attack DS game, Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses dvd, Barbie and the Princess Charm School dvd with Blair and Delancey Barbies, Just Dance 3 for Wii, a pink lap tray with marker tower, new colored pencils and crayons (not pictured), Jenga from grandma, three Barbie puzzles and a coloring book from Eli, and Barbie clothes from Dawson. Kyndal got her new Hello Kitty pj bottoms. And in her stocking was a Hello Kitty DS game, puppy stocking cap, underwear, more Barbie clothes, and candy.

Daddy got an RCA internet streaming device (like a ROKU), a rechargeable flashlight (because he can never find one with batteries), a brushed oil bronze hand towel rack for dishrags (because he cleans the kitchen at night and hates not having anywhere to hang the dishrag), a golf book, some pj bottoms, a Dr. Pepper t-shirt, some new undies and some jalapeno stuffed green olives. Oh, and he's taking a 5-day vacation by himself in a couple of days to go to the Fiesta Bowl game in Arizona.

Mama was happy! She got all of her favorite things: new pjs and slippers from Dawson, a cozy green plush blanket from Brynne, an electric candle warmer (like Scentsy) from Eli, a personalized "T" button picture made by Eli, some thermal pants and top from my mom with a book, and from my sweet hubby a new iPad 2 and $50 gift card so I can get accessories for it!!!

We all also got money from my mom and dad, and the kids got GameStop giftcards from my sister.

Kyndal wasn't here, but we got her new Ugg boots, a wand curler, a pink blow dryer, a pink personal back heating pad, an Ed Hardy belt, a smokey eyes makeup kit, undies in her stocking (a tradition), a crocheted headband, and new gloves. We also got her a plane ticket to fly to Pensacola to visit my family for the last half of her break.

For lunch we had candy and more breakfast.

I had planned to make an elegant dinner of filet mignon, potatoes, green bean casserole, rolls, and pumpkin pie. Rick and I decided to just eat leftovers from Christmas Eve and Eli and Brynne had macaroni and cheese.

What were the favorite gifts? Mine, of course, was my iPad. That was Rick's favorite gift, too. He'll be playing with it often, I know. Dawson loved his new blue light saber. He's had it in his hands almost all day. Eli's favorite gifts were his Nintendo 3DS and a $1 gun Brynne got him at the Dollar Tree. Brynne's favorite gifts were her Nintendo 3DS and her new puppy stocking cap. She also spent lots of time playing with her Barbies.

To me, this was just the best day ever. I think everyone in my little family agreed. We'll be enjoying it all year, too.

Joy

I know I have already posted something today, but I just felt like I had some happy things to share (for a change!) In the midst of difficult times, there have been those who have lifted my spirits ... other moms I have run into and took the time to talk to, my husband, and my kids.

My kids. It's hard for me not to feel joyful when being around them. Yesterday was Eli's birthday. He wanted to play video games all day, go spend some of his birthday money on extra characters for his new Skylanders game, and then go eat Cici's pizza. We did all that and had such a nice family night.

We had so much fun at Cici's. We laughed so hard. Dawson started spitting wadded up straw packaging at Eli and Brynne with his straw and it was hilarious! They were cracking up because he would get them when they least expected it. At one point Dawson said, "Man, I love these kids." Then he carried Brynne around everywhere we went because it was cold. He just loved on her and hugged her. We did some shopping for each other, and the giving spirits and excitement of all the kids just made me smile. And at Cici's, when the kids played a game that won them candy as prizes, Brynne said, "I only got one Tootsie Roll (which is her favorite candy), but I'm going to give it to Eli." There were many more instances like this throughout the night, just lots of putting someone else first. When I have been feeling so low about my parenting skills, times like this show me that I must be doing something right.

We talked Eli into going bowling. Again, we just had a blast! Eli couldn't believe that a girl beat him (Brynne). Daddy couldn't believe that one beat him, too (me!).

Kyndal was missed. It's sad to hear the things that Brynne and Eli mention about her. Like last night, when Brynne picked up a split when bowling, she immediately said, "I'm going to tell Kyndal about this." And then at home she was worried that Kyndal wouldn't fit in her bed when she came to visit because Brynne's new Barbie house is at the foot of the bed.

I guess I say all of this to say that: seeing the considerate hearts of my children causes me so much joy! They just love each other so much. They are always thinking of each other. I don't know what they would do without each other. They are experiencing this with the loss of Kyndal, although she's always been a go-er so not home much. But Dawson, Eli, and Brynne spend the majority of their time together and they are so extremely close. This Christmas season has been hard so far. But, after last night, I woke up with a joyful spirit this morning. It's going to be such a great Christmas!

What's on your bookshelf?

I am finishing up The Christmas Wedding by James Patterson, and then will be moving on to The Enchanted April by Elizabeth Von Arnim (gotta get it read quick because there is a hold list at our library for this one and I have been waiting for it for a loooooong time).

The other books on my shelf (night stand) are Christmas on Ladybug Farm by Donna Ball (oh, I can't wait!), Comfort & Joy by Kristin Hannah (my favorite author), Love your Life by Victoria Osteen (need a little of that right now), and Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery (a classic that I have never read). I plan to do lots of reading over Christmas break.

How about you? Got any books you can recommend that just soothe your soul?

8 is great!

Today, my sweet little man turns 8 years old. He has really been wanting to turn 8 so that he'll "be smarter".

When it's your birthday in our house, you get to spend it however you want. Eli woke up around 9:00 a.m. and laid in the chair watching a couple of Mad episodes (his favorite show).

Daddy popped in from work with donuts for breakfast and to watch him open his gifts.

He got the much-anticipated Skylanders video game for the Xbox 360, and another pack of characters. His plan is to spend the entire day playing video games.

I offered for our family to go bowling this afternoon, because he loves to bowl, but he said he only wants to go to dinner at Cici's Pizza, and that's it. (He's like his mama ... he likes to keep things simple, and usually at home.)

To him, this will be the greatest day ever: Spending time at home, with his family, doing his favorite things! Life just doesn't get much better than this!

Happy Birthday, Eli! We love you so very, very much!

Wii Thought Eli's Birthday Party was a Smash!

This year for Eli's birthday, he wanted to invite over three of his friends for a Wii Super Smash Brothers Brawl party! And that's exactly what we did!

Eli wanted his cake to be in the shape of a Wii remote, so mom did her best to deliver.

The three boys went together and bought Eli Kirby's Return to Dreamland for Wii as his gift. So, they played both games, had snacks and cake, and spent some time outside playing with Nerf guns and light sabers.

We also had fun snacks like Super Smashmallows, Nun Chex Mix, and Gummy Wiirms.

He had a great time!

Nicole's Daybook

Outside my window... The temperatures are mild, but it's dreary and FOGGY!

I am thinking... about how tired I am of depressing times. It's time for some happiness around here!

I am thankful ... that in the past couple of days, we have had the opportunity to spend some time with Kyndal so that we all feel a little more positive about her moving.

I am wearing... OSU t-shirt, black yoga pants, tennis shoes.

I am planning...  our Christmas break of rest.
 

I am creating... No actual creating going on. But, I am trying to figure out how to make our upstairs look a little nicer now that Kyndal has moved out of her room and Dawson has made it into a "nerd cave" (his words). He has taken furniture from other rooms and, really, it just looks unorganized and trashed. I want it to at least look like a fashionable teenage boy's apartment.

I am going... to deliver Kyndal's bed and the last of her boxes to her friend's house so that her dad can pick it all up this afternoon.

I am reading...  Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe (Dawson's read-a-loud) ... we are on the last day, The Christmas Wedding by James Patterson. And I can't wait to start reading my new Ladybug Farm Christmas novella. I am saving it for Christmas break.

I am hoping... that Kyndal transitions into her new life well, and that we do the same.

From the learning rooms... Who cares? Christmas break starts tomorrow! We need a break so bad.

Noticing that ...  I am just so weary. I need jammies, a comfortable blanket, a good book, and some mindless t.v. for about 10 days straight!

From the kitchen... I've got ham and cheesy potatoes in the crockpot.

Around the house... will not be a realtor and boxes. But hopefully there will be some downsizing, closet organization, and readjusting.

One of my favorite things... is still the idea of a simple country life. Maybe someday ... For now, it's a simple-as-possible suburbian life. There is no perfect situation, so contentment must be sought.

A few plans for the rest of the week... Beyond today, our calendar does not have one thing on it! This afternoon Brynne has her Girls Club Christmas Tea and Eli has his Boys Club Christmas party. Kyndal is moving to Missouri this afternoon. Christmas break officially starts tomorrow. Rick's sister and her family will come over for Christmas Eve. But, other than that, we have no plans. Eli's birthday is Thursday and I told him our whole family could go bowling to celebrate. But, knowing him, he'll just want to stay home.

From my picture journal.

Rick and I before his company Christmas party. (Is it just me, or do I look really old?) It was a nice evening, with excellent food and conversation with an older couple at our table.

Lots of women Daybook. See what they have to say at The Simple Woman's Daybook.

A Small Glimpse

Last night Kyndal and I received a small glimpse into what our relationship will be like from now on. I picked her up, we grabbed some Starbucks, talked, and then went to Target so that she could get Christmas gifts for Dawson, Eli and Brynne.

We did talk about things that have happened over the past few weeks. We made peace about some things. We talked about both of our fears for the future. But, mostly, we just spent time hanging out. Although tears fell, there were even more smiles.

For the first time in her life, I got to experience the relationship with her that her dad has had the pleasure of having with her all these years. Raising children, especially teenagers, on a day-to-day business is riddled with stress and anxiety. It is such an enormous responsibility that permeates through every second of your relationship with them. It's hard to just relax and have fun. And it's hard to put it into words, but when you are hanging out with your child knowing that your decisions are no longer the ones that are making the day-to-day difference, a weight is lifted and you can enjoy your child in a way that you've never experienced. All of a sudden you can just focus on your relationship instead of all that junk that constantly hangs on your ever move.

Kyndal and I have always had a contentious relationship. Although there will be challenges, I think we both know deep down that we will enjoy our mother-daughter relationship so much more without all of the stress.

I ask for continued prayers for Kyndal as she transitions into her new life. Moving to a new school, to a new town, into a completely new family dynamic will have it's challenges.