Forever My Valentine

Last week at Or So She Says..., Mariel posed the following questions to some of her Guest Bloggers. I was not one of them she chose, but I thought about the answers nonetheless and decided to post my responses today on my blog. If you would like to do a post on your blog answering these questions, please do so and leave me a link to it in a comment so I can read it!

How did you [and your husband] meet?
Rick and I met at a church event called Camino. I lived in Springfield, Missouri. He lived in Joplin, Missouri. Both of our churches were participating. It's kind of a long, complicated story. But the short version is that I felt led to buy him a small gift and card when he was giving his testimony on the Men's weekend, even though I didn't know him (no women allowed except to pray in the prayer chapel, so the gift just went to him with all the others). What I wrote in the card touched him and after the weekend he called me. That was in October of 2000. We were engaged within three months. Yeah, God was involved there, huh?


What did you do on your first date?
He drove to Springfield, which is a little over an hour away from Joplin, and took me to dinner at Zio's. After dinner we walked around a cute, little pond behind one of the hospitals in town. He kissed me for the first time at one of the picnic tables. It was chilly, because it was October, so we came back to my house and sat on my front porch talking until about 1 a.m., covered in a blanket.


What’s the best romantic getaway you’ve been on?
We've been on some great ones. Bermuda and Hawaii definitely top the list. However, our honeymoon to San Antonio and anniversary trip back to Springfield were pretty darned awesome!

Driving up Haleakala Crater in Maui. We were way up there in the clouds and it was getting cold!

What would the ultimate romantic getaway be??
Ultimate ... I don't know. I think about our honeymoon when we just walked around San Antonio, having lunch, stopping in a bar for a margarita, doing a little local shopping. I feel most romantic when it's just the two of us, hand-in-hand, a couple, without kids, alone and free to just be together. My ultimate vacation wish is to go to Greece and Italy.


What are your songs?
"From this Moment On" by Shania Twain and Bryan White.

Download this mp3 from Beemp3.com

If you were to make a special dinner for him, what would you make?
Jalapeno poppers for an appetizer, probably Jalapeno Chicken Enchiladas for dinner, and homemade cookies and milk for dessert.


What was the coolest gift you ever bought him?
We are pretty practical when it comes to gifts. But, the most creative and out-of-the-box would have to be the portraits I had done of myself for him, including the "For His Eyes Only" album.


What is your favorite gift that he bought for you?
Again, I love the practical things, like my travel pyrex dishes and books I want from Amazon. I've gotten tons of enjoyment out of my patio furniture and porch swing, Purple Martin house and hummingbird feeder. He really buys me anything I want, so I am always happy. This Christmas I got an iPad. So, I am always smiling when I open gifts from him. But, the ones I hold closest to my heart are the ones where he has heard me say I wanted something, and he just buys it without me asking for it. Like last week, he went to Walmart to buy donuts and chocolate milk for the kids for Sunday morning before church. He came home and handed me the movie "The Help", that he had bought because he knew that I really wanted to see it because I had loved the book so much.

Finish this sentence, “It makes me laugh when my husband…
retells me those certain stories from his past ... the gum story, the movies story, the "Ben" story. And, he is just really funny, very quick-witted. So, I am laughing A LOT!


What are some every day ways that you show love for each other?
He is so much better at this than I am. I always feel loved by his actions. He calls to check on me during the day, to see how our day is going. He always does certain things, like make the bed, clean up the kitchen after dinner. He will watch what I want on t.v. before he watches what he wants. He rubs my feet when I am laying on the couch and, almost every night, rubs my head while I go to sleep. Speaking of sleep, he not only puts up with my "sleeping necessities", but he prepares them for me. He tries to make my day easier, every day, by asking me what I need and helping me out even when I don't ask for something. I just hope that my attempts to take care of everything at home, so that he has little to actually do here, makes him feel loved. Since he works all day, away from home, I want his home to be a place for him to relax and feel secure.

Our 10 year anniversary. We spent it at home.

What are some things you like to do together?
We are not overly compatible in our hobbies. We do like to go out to dinner, and the movies. I think my favorite thing for us to do together is to go on a grocery store date. We grab a bite to eat, and go get groceries together. I like his companionship. He's someone I just like to spend time with. This summer we do have plans for me to go out on the golf course with him some, either riding in the cart reading my book or walking the shorter courses with him.

At a golf course in Bermuda.

 If you could give your husband anything, what would it be?
A new car. And everyday Joy.


What cologne do you love your husband to wear?
My husband doesn't wear cologne, and I am happy. I feel like guys who wear cologne want to be smelled. It gags me, really. I like a clean, fresh-smelling man. This sounds odd, but I love the smell of my husband's deodorant when I hug him.


Finish this sentence, “My husband is especially attractive when…
he is being tender to our children, making a memory with them (like the "Daddyquake"), hanging out or joking with Dawson, also when he steps up to give to someone in need.


I love my marriage because…
I feel like I have a partner in this difficult life, that I'm not going at it alone. I feel safe and secure. I look at us and think that we will be a cute old couple, eccentric, but cute. I know that Rick has ALWAYS got my back, probably even more than I want him to at times. He would do anything for me, of that I am sure.

I recently read the following passage on another blog wherein she was describing that she was no longer saying she is "happily married", but instead saying that she is "gratefully married". She said, "there is a somber joy. .  a contentment. . . a feeling of unbelievable gratefulness and humbleness in a long marriage. We are co-laborers in our home and life."

Happiness is fleeting, oh so fleeting. But gratefulness is something I feel deep in my soul that can't be fleshed out by life's circumstances. In fact, life's circumstances only make it stronger.

Rick, you are my Valentine ... Forever my Valentine.

The pond where we took a walk on our first date ... 10 years later.

And the place where we had our first kiss.

Menu Plan Monday

It snowed!! Yay! That means soup tonight! Every single school district around us canceled school today except for ours! Since the temps are going to get back in the 50's quickly, the snow won't last. And this may be my kids' only chance to play in it. Soooooo ... I declared it a SNOW DAY! (Hey, the school district factors in 3-4 a year that we aren't going to use, so we're going to use one!) I kept Eli home from school today and the other two kids are getting the day off.  I'm going to get that soup in the crockpot early so I can smell it all day long. Here's what we are having this week.

Monday ~ American stew

Tuesday ~ Valentine's Dinner: Grilled filet mignon, garlic mashed potatoes, green beans, and linguine

Wednesday ~ Fend for Yourself and Wine Wednesday

Thursday ~ Crock pot chicken and mashed potatoes

Friday - Sunday ~ The men are on their own while the littles and I take a long President's weekend trip to visit my parents.

Weekend Wrap-up

I'm sitting here on the couch watching the Grammy's, after spending the last hour or so pretty teared up over the passing of Whitney Houston. Wow. How sad.

What a classy beginning to the Grammy's by LL Cool J, leading the world in prayer.

And, dang, Bruno Mars is a spunky fellow, huh?

Anyway. This was a great weekend. My kind of weekend. No bells and whistles. No major activities. Just fairly relaxing and productive and then more relaxing.

Every six weeks or so I hit a Friday were I am just WIPED OUT! In fact, I am certain that I am coming down with a cold or something. Thankfully, we typically don't have a lot of things planned on Friday nights, so I am able to just rest. And that, consequently, is usually just what I need. In fact, I usually have to feel that bad in order to just STOP! And that's how I was Friday. I started feeling down by mid-morning, and by mid-afternoon I was taking a nap on the couch. I really didn't leave the couch all night, and by Saturday I was feeling much better.

Of course, that might have had something to do with the fact that I slept until 9:30 a.m. Ahhhh .......

We took it easy most of the morning, and then early afternoon I headed out to do some grocery shopping. Rick and the kids stayed in their jammies and vegged, which I count as being oh-so-important in this world that seems to think we need to be busy all .. the .. time !!

When I got home, Rick was watching an episode of "How I Met Your Mother" on Netflix. [As a side note ... if you have a husband who gets very bored in the winter months because he is an avid golfer and it's too cold to play golf, GET HIM NETFLIX! Rick picked a sitcom that had been on for several years, and started watching the very first season. He has watched about 70 episodes since he started. I often see him sitting on the couch with my iPad, with his headphones in, and hear him laughing at the episode he is watching. It's been a winter lifesaver.] Yesterday's episode was about one of the characters searching for the perfect hamburger. Rick said, "I could use a good hamburger." So, we made an impromptu decision to go into Tulsa to get said burger.

Do you live in Tulsa or near Tulsa or will you ever in your life drive through Tulsa? If so, you HAVE TO drive to the Greenwood District downtown and eat at Fat Guy's Burger Bar. Oh. My Gosh. I have NEVER had a burger and fries that were so good! And how lucky for their business ... this past year the Tulsa Driller's built their new stadium on the back of the restaurant. I just had to give a shout out to such a yummy place to eat.

Speaking of yummy ... on Sunday after church, I took a yummy nap for about an hour. It felt so good!

When I got up, we had a one hour cleaning session for the whole family. Everybody had jobs to do and we turned it out in no time.

And now I sit on the couch watching the Grammy's PRAYING, yes praying, that we get the snow we are supposed to get tonight. I love, love, love a snowed-in kind of day, and so do the kids. We haven't had any snow this year (with the exception of a slight dusting one day). I would love for the kids to get a chance to play in the snow before Spring hits.

And that Kelly Clarkson has got some pipes!

I hope you have a good week!

Another Valentine Idea

I actually came up with an idea for Eli's Valentines that I haven't used with any of the other kids. I was inspired by his teacher, Mrs. Ball.

And my dream came true .... They are making their Valentine Boxes AT SCHOOL!  Yes!

Party's on Tuesday!

Make them Obedient

I am not talking about our children, pets, or even our spouses. I am talking about our thoughts.

In my quiet time this morning, my prayer topic was Emotions and the scripture reference was the second part of 2 Corinthians 10:5.

 ... we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 

I've read that scripture many times in my life, but this morning something really jumped out at me ... we have to MAKE our thoughts be obedient to Christ.

They don't want to be obedient to Christ. It's a lot easier not to be. They likely fight obedience at every opportunity. So we have a job to do.

First, the definition of the word "Captive" is ~ "Taken and held prisoner, as in war".  (from freedictionary.com)

Ever feel like you are in the midst of a war, especially in your mind?

During those times, we are to take each of our thoughts Captive, holding them prisoner, until they are MADE to be obedient to Christ. We aren't to let our thoughts float fleetingly through our minds, because typically they come out our mouth! Or, if we take them captive and not let them leave, but don't do the work to make them obedient to Christ, then they continue to fester and boil and then, eventually, burst. And we all know how that works out.

I don't have any specific advice as how to successfully do this. But I would imagine that we are called to take EACH thought, HOLD IT CAPTIVE, and wrangle with it, applying the truths of scripture to it, until we are confident it is OBEDIENT to what would glorify Christ. We aren't to give up and use those excuses that, i.e., "he deserves it", or "it's just the way I am", or "I can't help the way I feel".

No excuses.

Do the work to MAKE your thoughts be obedient to Christ.

From Necessity to a Way of Life: Homeschooling

Two years ago, right at about this time, Dawson started begging me to homeschool him. You can read all about that HERE.

I'll be honest, homeschooling had been something that had been weighing on my heart in the months before that, but I had never mentioned it to anyone ... not Rick, not the kids, not friends, no one. It was just a stirring.

So that next school year, when Dawson started 8th grade, we began homeschooling him. Within a couple of months, we brought Brynne home from public school kindergarten. You can read about that decision HERE. And, with Eli, we have always known that homeschooling will be in his future, but we take it year-by-year based on his needs for his probable Asperger's (we have chosen to not have him diagnosed).

Rick and I have made the decision to bring Eli home starting next year, his 3rd grade year. Of course we receive much opposition from the school, and I am certain family members are concerned about that decision. But even Eli's teacher this year, someone we love and trust, called us in for a Parent Teacher Conference this week. It was not to discuss his schoolwork, because it is just fine. It was to tell us that she completely supports our decision to homeschool Eli next year. She said she has prayed about it, talked to her husband about it, and looked at it from both the perspective of being a teacher and a parent. Next to us, she knows him best, so I trust her immensely.

We started homeschooling out of necessity. But, not for one second have I regretted our decision to do so. In fact, I wish that I would have started homeschooling all of my children from the very start.

Educating our children is now a Way of Life. We do it all day long, every single day. Sure, we have "school" where we hit the books for about 5-6 hours a day. But the rest of the hours we are awake include learning, as well.

Things just spontaneously happen, because we have the time and the energy. Like a week or so ago ... Dawson asked Brynne if she wanted to play a game of Jenga. Within a few minutes, they had decided that they were going to build towers out of the Jenga blocks. They set up rules, including height, number of blocks, etc., and even gave me a grading checklist. I looked up and Dawson had a ruler, asking Brynne if certain heights of blocks would meet the criteria. They built for about 15 minutes and then moved on. But in that time they had done some learning. These types of things go on all the time. They have learned how to learn without having to be taught.

We go on multiple field trips, spend time learning with people of all ages (both very young and much older). We have volunteer opportunities and service projects. Both kids' writing skills have increased tremendously. They are both reading complicated (for them) literature. Their knowledge of the United States, it's geography and history, astounds me. They have fun learning the science behind topics that interest them. (And when we find something of interest, we dig in and exhaust it before moving on.) We read, watch educational videos, and have lots of discussions. Each day they diligently work on their assignments. They produce some great art.

All of these things have been benefits of homeschooling.

But the thing that is most important to me are the PEOPLE they are becoming. I never, ever go somewhere with them that someone does not comment on how sweet, polite, helpful, kind my kids are. I overheard a mom talking to another mom at our Homeschool Moms Night Out a couple of weeks ago. She was talking about Dawson and how great he is and how she hopes that her daughters meet someone like him when they are older. Brynne and I went to a birthday party recently and the behaviors of some of the kids just drove me insane! I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Brynne would never act like that. It's partly because she is a good kid at heart, but I know that it is also because she has the constant involvement of her parent.

These are just a couple of small examples. But I know, with all that I have, that by spending daily time with my kids, I am helping them become amazing young people. And it's not because I am an amazing person. It's just that I am able to see and hear everything they do and guide them through the whole day, instead of letting an ugly world do it. The changes I have seen in Dawson in the past couple of years is evidence enough. I cannot imagine how he would be right now had we kept him in public school. I know that we would not be very close, and he would be a completely different person.

But what about socialization? Good grief I get sick of hearing that question! My kids get loads of socialization! The difference is that they are socializing with those we want them to socialize with. Honestly, I don't want my 15 year old son spending the majority of his time with the teenagers in public school. Have you walked into your local public high school lately? SCARY!! Yeah, yeah, someday he is going to have to learn how to be around unsavory people. Sure he will. But once he has a good foundation, he will be able to handle those situations in his future with little problem. And he will be handling those situations as a mature 18 year old, instead of as a scared and clueless 15 year old. And it's not like at 18 we are going to send our kids out into the world and say, "Good luck!" No, I am hopeful that by having this experience with them that we will be close enough that they will want us to help guide them through those situations.

Dawson has three best friends, all who go to public school, who he spends as much time with as possible. He has another couple of friends that he sees regularly. He talks to friends every single day on Xbox Live when they are playing games together. He has even got to where he sets my iPad up so that he can Facetime with some of them while they are playing their video games. To him it's just like having them right there on the futon next to him. All of Dawson's friends are good kids. I know them. I know their parents. I know their parents' values and morals and what they expect of their kids. So, he gets socialization and I don't have to worry. For Brynne, it's the same. And, she has Eli. He is her best friend. And when Eli leaves public school, he will not miss the kids. He will miss the teachers, but he is a loner and he will get as much socialization as he wants with our homeschool activities.

So, I just felt really led to write about this topic this morning. Not a moment goes by that I don't thank God for the opportunity to stay home and educate my children. I know that we are ALL better for it. I can't wait for Eli to come home next year so we can begin the journey with him. I love my kids. I love to spend time with them. I love to get to actually see them have "aha" moments when they learn something. I realize that homeschooling would not work for many people, but it works for our family.

Homeschooling is no longer a necessity for us. It is our chosen way of life. And it is awesome!

Nicole's Daybook

Outside my window... it's overcast, chilly, looks like maybe we could get a little rain.

I am thinking... about the conference we had with Eli's teacher last night and how she confirmed what I feel in my heart about what we should do about his education. I am so grateful to her for being so candid with us.

I am thankful ... for potential opportunities for Rick.

I am wearing... Oklahoma State t-shirt, black yoga pants, Nike tennis shoes.

I am planning...  for next year's homeschooling curriculum. Doing some researching, seeking advice, figuring out what works for us and what doesn't, considering supplies I will need for the changes we are making.
 

I am creating... Eli's valentines for his party next week.

I am going... to HAVE to start getting up earlier in the morning and get out of this routine of sleeping in until the last minute.

I am reading...  The Desendants by Kaui Hart Hemmings, My Name is Mary Sutter by Robin Oliveira (Put aside while I read The Descendants), Chasing Lincoln's Killer by James L. Swanson (Dawson's daily read-a-loud), Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut (keeping up with Dawson so we can discuss it, one chapter a week), Stepping Heavenward by E. Prentiss (my daily devotional), Beautiful in God's Eyes by Elizabeth George (book study I am doing with a friend, doing one chapter every two weeks), For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn.

I am hoping... to be able to pull off a cool family activity on Valentine's Day.

From the learning rooms... Although Brynne is still in the middle of her Dogs unit, Dawson has moved on.to Pioneer living and the journey westward, DNA in Biology, and continuing with simple equations in Algebra. 

Noticing that ... having unique kids is such a joy.

From the kitchen... We're having french dip sandwiches and fries tonight. Tomorrow night is Fend For Yourself (FFY) and Wine Wednesday. I have no plans for the rest of the week. I need to plan some meals and go to the store.

Around the house... are Spring weeds. I am starting to get an itch to get out and work in my gardens.

One of my favorite things... is learning about American History. I have learned so much this year in teaching Dawson, and I have really enjoyed it.

A few plans for the rest of the week... One evening this week, Dawson and I are going out to dinner with some new friends who we are hoping to work with in schooling next year. Otherwise, we really don't have much going on this week. On Monday of next week, our Homeschool moms are having a crock pot night. I'm going to make crock pot cake.

From my picture journal.

Reading has become so much a part of our lives.

Lots of women Daybook. See what they have to say at The Simple Woman's Daybook.

This Weekend ... What I Needed and Didn't Need

We had a packed weekend (for us). I got a lot done that I needed to do, and a few things that I really didn't. But, all-in-all, this was a great weekend.

Let's start with Friday. Honestly, I can't for the life of me remember what we did or didn't do on Friday. I guess that's a good thing. I think I fixed dinner. I imagine we watched some t.v. Now that I think about it, Dawson's friend spent the night. But, other than that, I got nothin'. I guess I just needed a night like that.

Early Saturday morning, Rick and I got up and went to our church's Leadership Summit. This was a brainstorming session about what services we would like to provide our community this year. I certainly needed an opportunity to discuss the needs of others. Life can be so ME-oriented.

On Saturday evening, Rick and I watched the movie "The Help". I had read the book, which was excellent. It was a really good movie, and you need to watch it. It didn't quite live up to the book, but movies rarely do. It would have had to have been about a four-hour movie, at least, to really depict the racial implications of that time.

On Sunday we went to church, and brought home our pastors two little boys who are friends with Eli and Brynne. While they played their 3DS games and the Wii, I cleaned house and Rick went back to town to run some errands. When he got home, I laid on the couch with the dogs. I slept for AN HOUR AND A HALF, on the couch with all the t.v. and kids and noise. I guess I needed a good nap. I had been suffering from a serious sinus headache for a couple of days, and had a couple of late nights and some early mornings.

We invited the boys' parents over for dinner and to watch the Super Bowl. What I totally didn't need was to see Madonna, the geriatric patient, trying to dance. Poor thing. That was evidence that once you hit your mid-50's, you should NOT try to be Lady Gaga. Your day is done, Madonna. (It's especially bad when you make LMFAO look good.)

An although I TOTALLY DO NOT NEED ANOTHER T.V. SHOW TO BE OBSESSED WITH, I totally enjoyed "The Voice" and need to keep watching it. We didn't watch it last season. And I had no intentions of watching it this season, until I saw that 42 year old single dad Jesse Campbell. Wow. Yeah, we are hooked.

And tonight "Smash" starts. Geez ... there just aren't enough hours in the day.

I did manage to get my lesson plans done for this week, which I needed to do in order for us to get anything accomplished.

Overall, it was a great weekend!

Valentines 2012

I have been making Valentine boxes and trying to come up with creative Valentines for my kids' classmates for 15 years. I have made traditional aluminum foil and doily boxes and gone so far as to make a box that looked just like our dog. I love the years where I get a note from the teacher that says they will make boxes or bags in class! Yes!

But, that still leaves coming up with creative Valentines for the kids to give to their classmates. I have given up some years and just let them pick out puppy or super hero Valentines with the little red stickers to keep them closed. Sometimes I attach a piece of candy. Sometimes I don't. But, it really goes against everything I believe in. I like homemade things, albeit typically very amateur.

I decided that this year I would create a mailbox type contraption that Brynne can use at her Co-op party EVERY year!

I started with a Target Dollar Spot tin mailbox and cut a circle out of the bottom of it, the same size of the Pringles can I attached it to with duct tape. Then I cut that same size hole into the lid of an oatmeal container and used duct tape to attach the other end of the pringles can to it. Then we decorated it all. Now her friends can open the mailbox and drop in the valentines that will drop down the Pringles can tube into the Oatmeal container base. There!

For her Valentines, I used paint sample strips in pinks, attached a heart sticker to the bottom and a piece of heart ribbon to the top, to make bookmarks. On the back we wrote "Sample a Good Book Today". These are for the girls. The boys get little red plastic heart boxes with SweetTart candies inside.

Her Valentine party is tomorrow.

Now all I have is Eli's box and Valentines for his class party on the 14th. Ideas anyone?

3 in 30 - January/February

How did I do on my 3 in 30 goals for January? Two out of three goals were met consistently. One, not at all.

January's Goals:

1.  Commit to my daily personal devotion time, Bible study, and prayer. In this area, I did very well. For my personal devotion time each day, I read three entries in the book Stepping Heavenward by E. Prentiss and two chapters in the Psalms. Some days I journal; some days I don't. I tend to journal only when I am downtrodden. I would like to get more in the habit of journaling the good and bad times. I am also meeting with a friend every other Tuesday to discuss the book Beautiful in God's Eyes by Elizabeth George. I committed to praying for my husband every day in January as part of the 31 Days to Build a Better Spouse. I found myself feeling that the prayers needed to be prayed over me more than my husband most days.

2.  Start printing photos and putting them in albums. THIS WAS MY EPIC FAIL. I did manage to make photo calendars for Rick and my parents. But, no photos were printed. No photo albums were purchased.

3.  Do weekly grading, gradebooking, feedback, and filing of Dawson's school work. In other words, just stay caught up. I did great on this goal. Each weekend I graded all his work and got it inputted and filed. And I was better about reviewing his daily assignments more quickly and giving him feedback and extra work, if needed.

February Goals:

1.  Continue with my daily devotion time, Bible study, and prayer. Also try to journal more consistently, including praises as well as desperate prayers.

2.  Engage in an act of physical intimacy with each member of my family every day! Whether it's a snuggle, hug, kiss, or all three while telling them I love them, it doesn't matter. I want them each to FEEL my love in a physical way.

3.  Get January and February's photos printed from the years 2008 to 2011 and put in photo albums. (I really want to get this accomplished this year!)