An Unfair Game of Tug-of-War

Since the beginning of the year, I have been involved in a situation.

It's really a situation I have been dealing with for many years, because of a consequence of my past.

Unfortunately it has involved "the one" and "the other one", "innocents" in the situation.

I've always tried to make decisions based on what's best for the innocents. I haven't always done what's right. I have made mistakes. I freely admit that. But I have never made decisions or mistakes because I was trying to hurt someone or "be right" or to get the "one up" or be in control or retaliate. Truly the decisions have been made out of LOVE for the innocents.

The current situation brings me to a fork in the road. Go one way or the other.

A right of the one has been denied, unfairly. On the one's behalf, I could do something. I have seriously considered doing something. I even started doing something.

But what I have found over the past few months is that I have been pulled into a tug-of-war in which I do not care to be. Pulling on my end of the rope is love and responsibility. Pulling on the other end is spite and control. I started calling on my own spite and control to help me, and both quickly came to my side to help me pull. But, the tug-of-war has continued ... and will continue with more heavy hitters being added to each side. And I don't want to be on the side of spite or control or worse. I have felt sick at my stomach since those two joined me. Because spite, control and love cannot ever be on the same side.

When I practiced law, I would have clients come in and fight to the bloody death because of the "principle of the point". I would always tell clients that "principle" would cost them a lot of money. What they always found out was that it ended up costing a whole lot more.

I could continue this, and maybe I should. But, ultimately, the one who will lose the most will be the only one who matters. And I love him too much to allow that to happen. The other one has already lost much in this tug-of-war, more than she may ever know, and will continue to lose.

So, I am letting go of the rope. It is taking more strength to let go of it than to keep pulling.

I am giving up a right that I have on behalf of the one I love, because I love.

Rick and I have discussed this at length and it is he who gave me the advice and courage to do it. Why? Because of love, and integrity, and responsibility. I am so grateful to him. Without him, I would have to continue to fight. He is an amazing man who supports me in so many ways ... physically, emotionally, financially. He is willing to step up and let his rights be stomped on, because of love. He's not happy about it, mind you. But, to him, it's more important for our family to have the freedom to live our lives how we choose without someone else having a hand in controlling it.

I know that I have a God who loves me. He will protect me. He will obtain His justice in His time. He has not called me to be the one to take care of it. I will trust Him.

So, congratulations to my opponent. He wins. Or does he? I think, in the end, he will have lost much more than he has gained.

"The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still." ~ Exodus 14:14